


(Not) AlonΣ

by wistfulstargazer



Category: Vast Error
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Horror, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Ghosts, Horror, Insecurity, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Panic Attacks, Possession, Self-Esteem Issues, or at least horror adjacent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21752740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wistfulstargazer/pseuds/wistfulstargazer
Summary: During a night of frights, Ellsee Raines decides to take a trip down memory lane.Spoilers through the 2019 New Years Eve flash.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Occeus Coliad/Ellsee Raines
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Videocassette

Your name is Ellsee Raines and you could really use someone to talk to right now.

You’ve been running for what felt like ages, but your tent is finally in sight. You can see your lusus preening out in front of it, but you doubt you’ll get much help from them tonight. Nothing like a well-timed night of silence to help you deal with the most terrifying situation you’ve dealt with in your entire life! You love your guardian dearly, but these periods of silence always seemed to fall on the most inopportune nights, and it’s not like they would ever break their silence once it had begun. 

You rush past them, noting their concern but not having it in you to deal with them right now. You were at capacity right now, and a silent scolding from them wasn’t going to make you feel any better. You needed to talk to someone who had even the slimmest chance of actually understanding and being able to help and make you feel better. You just desperately hope that he’ll actually be there. For once. 

\-- existereOracle [EO] began trolling macabreExude [ME] \--  
EO: OccΣus¿¿  
EO: I know it hasn't bΣΣn that long and that you'rΣ rΣally busy but I think I rΣally nΣΣd you right now¡¡  
EO: SomΣthing happΣnΣd and I'm rΣally scarΣd.  
EO: PlΣasΣ OccΣus I RΣALLY NΣΣD YOU¡¡¡¡  
EO: I'm tΣrrifiΣd and I think somΣthing is gonna happΣn and it's gonna bΣ rΣally bad.  
EO: I wΣnt out ΣarliΣr and it was going okay, but.  
EO: I hΣard somΣonΣ.  
EO: And I frΣakΣd out and I wasn't carΣful and wΣll.  
EO: I think somΣonΣ saw mΣ¿¿  
EO: LikΣ, *saw mΣ* saw mΣ.  
EO: And I was frΣaking out so much I fΣll and I scrapΣd mysΣlf and it was all just happΣning so fast I'm sorry....  
EO: But I think somΣonΣ out thΣrΣ saw mΣ and knows.  
EO: And I'm rΣally rΣally rΣally scarΣd right now so it would bΣ rΣally grΣat if you could PLΣASΣ STOP IGNORING MΣ¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: OUT OF ALL TIMΣS YOU COULD BΣ BUSY USING MY BLOOD I RΣALLY NΣΣD IT TO BΣ NOT NOW¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡  
EO: I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm saying right now, just.  
EO: Just ignorΣ mΣ....  
EO: I hopΣ your work is going okay, and I'll try not to gΣt killΣd by somΣ random forΣst strangΣr¡¡  
\-- existereOracle [EO] gave up on trolling macabreExude [ME] \--

Of course.

Why would he be around? Why would your bonded fucking matesprit ever be around when you were panicking!!!! Or ever, even!! Aside from the few five minute conversations that you barely get out of him. Unless he needs your blood of course, all for his "n.o.ble pr.o.ject," but damnit sometimes it would be nice if he treated you as more than lab equipment!!!!!!!!

…

You do love him.

You love him and know that he loves you, and you get that his work’s important, you really do. You just wish he made you feel important too, sometimes. Especially times like now.

You barely even think about it, but you’re already opening a new chat window, because you really just need someone to be there for you right now.

\-- existereOracle [EO] began trolling animatedHumorist [AH] \--  
EO: ArcjΣc I think I might rΣally bΣ in troublΣ plΣasΣ bΣ thΣrΣ....  
\-- Should you have absolutely nothing better to do than starting unwanted conversations, animatedHumorist [AH] would like to provide the following suggestions: find an imaginary friend, or talk to that person in the mirror. --

You don’t even read Arcjec’s automated message before you realize how stupid you’re being. You can’t tell Arcjec about this!! He doesn’t even know you’re a limeblood, and this would be the least preferable way for him to find out. Well, maybe not the least preferable after tonight! That person in the forest must have seen you, must have seen the blood you left behind. They’ll tell someone, who will tell someone else, and soon enough Corporate will find out and send out some press release and the whole planet will be hunting you down and holy shit your life is over. 

A numbness washes over you as you realize this. You messed up the only thing in your life that you’re not allowed to mess up, and you can’t go back now. Sure you have your Spell Guard and Lusus, but none of that would be much help against an army of robots sent to kill you.

Your contemplation about your suddenly ruined future is suddenly ruined by the sound of your staff falling over. The crash makes you jump back, knocking over your energy holster in the process, and shit it just got really dark. You hear a something metal skitter across the floor behind you, and you realize your holster is now a little bit super broken. 

ELLSEE: Shit¡

You blindly feel around the floor of your tent for the pieces of your power core, but with all the pillows and everything else you’re not having much luck. Even as your eyes adjust some, with all your light sources out of commission you’re not getting very far. You could go for your staff, but trying to do anything with it right now seems inadvisable if you don’t want to burn your house down in addition to everything else. Still, maybe you should hold onto it just to feel a little bit less freaked out. 

And then you look up and see a ghost.

ELLSEE: WHAT THΣ FUCK¿¿  
ELLSEE: WHO THΣ HΣLL ARΣ YOU AND HOW DID YOU GΣT IN HΣRΣ¿¿

My my, you hear, and the words spread out and wrap around you like the most potent incense and you couldn’t not be enraptured if you tried. Here I was thinking that you wanted someone to talk to, the figure says, but if that’s how you feel I can just take my leave, my darling descendant.

Your eyes widen and you breathe in sharply and you process that this overwhelming insubstantial presence that’s taking up every corner of your tent is your ancestor. You hear a laugh like porcelain as she sees your reaction, a sharp cadence echoing through you. I will admit, she says, it was wonderful getting to meet you properly, but I’ll be on my way.

ELLSEE: WAIT¡¡  
ELLSEE: PlΣasΣ don't go.  
ELLSEE: If you arΣ who you say you arΣ....  
ELLSEE: ThΣn you'rΣ thΣ only pΣrson who could possibly undΣrstand how I fΣΣl right now.  
ELLSEE: You'rΣ thΣ only onΣ who could undΣrstand....  
ELLSEE: WΣll, mΣ.  
ELLSEE: ΣvΣn if you arΣ a kind of thrΣatΣning shadow bΣing right now.

Trust me, she says, if I could be here with you in a more substantial manner I most certainly would. This alone is stretching my abilities thin, but I knew that you needed me and I couldn’t turn my back on you. That said, I do fear this encounter will have to be brief, her form becoming harder to perceive as if on command, unless you could do some very impressive magic. But, I could never ask you to do that, I wouldn’t be able to stand it and something happened to you. I know and care for you like a Guardian knows and cares for their ward.

ELLSEE: What do I nΣΣd to do¿  
ELLSEE: I can do this for you, plΣasΣ.  
ELLSEE: I think my lifΣ could bΣ so much bΣttΣr with you in it, so plΣasΣ tΣll mΣ what I havΣ to do.

An unmistakable smile flashes across the figure’s formless face, sharp as a knife and delicate as a flower. Oh, Ellsee, she says, her glee quietly booming through the block, I am so happy that you’re mine.

=>


	2. Data Corruption

Be Ellsee a little bit in the future =>

ELLSEE: Alright, RainΣs, it’s rΣally gamΣ timΣ now¡¡  
ELLSEE: I know I havΣn’t always had thΣ bΣst ΣxpΣriΣncΣs with magic but I havΣ to gΣt this onΣ right¡ 

Your name is Ellsee Raines, and you’re currently in the process of preparing a magical sigil on your floor. With help from your Ancestor’s spiritual projection, you were able to find a spell in your keepsake book that, according to her, would be able to give her a more substantial form on this side of the veil. Since she left (which you weren’t so sure about, but she said she trusts you!!!! You still haven’t gotten over the joy you got from hearing that), you’ve moved your pillows and carpet out of the way to be able to make her arrival possible, leaving everything in a messy pile along one of your tent’s walls. Your power’s still out, so you had set up some candles in the circle with you to help read your tome, but you can’t deny that they also add to the mystical atmosphere.

The spell you’re preparing requires precision, something which is hard to provide in your current state of excitement. You won’t have to be alone anymore, ever. You can still hardly believe it. It doesn’t feel like it’s real, and it definitely doesn’t feel like soH SHIT, you scramble to fix a symbol that you messed up in your jittery, distracted excitement. You should probably focus, you think. 

You let the light from the candles do your dancing for you, their flames expressing the excitement you’re putting to the side now. Continuing to press on, you copy the magical seal from your book as best you can. You're about halfway through the process when your staff springs to life and flies to the center of the circle, standing perfectly upright. That barely even distracts you, though- you were told that this was powerful magic, so as far as you’re concerned, that’s par for the course right now. However, when mystical will-o-wisps start appearing around the interior of your tent, bathing your work in a green glow, you can’t help but react with awe. 

The only thing you had left now was the circle with your sign. You figured it’d be a good thing to save for last, considering that it also belonged to the person you were doing the spell for. As you finished your work, you couldn’t help but beam. You stood up, dusting your pants off, as the room lit up from below, becoming enveloped in a warm, comforting light, the same color as the blood that made this possible. 

And then the spell began in earnest, and it only took a few seconds before you saw her again, your ancestor, a smoky form emanating from the mouth of your staff. And, beside her, another form, one that you didn’t quite recognize except- were those horns Arcjec’s? Before you could think about it too much, your attention turned back to the Vivifier as she spoke. 

Have I told you, my darling descendant, how proud I am of you? You hear her words and they’re so much more clear now, her voice gaining the energy that it must have had in life. I need not have doubted your abilities for a moment, she says, and now you can see her, not just see where she should be. You see your ancestor and it’s almost like looking in a mirror. She has your hair, your smile (holy shit she actually looks happy to see you, and it really hits you again how much you needed this), she even has your eyes, you didn’t even know that was possible!! Just that sight alone nearly makes you start crying, but, no, you don’t think you want her to see that just yet. 

Don’t worry about my friend, she says, he’s for someone else. And, I think it’s also time to stop any unwanted voyeurism, which I do not appreciate in the slightest. Your breath catches, you don’t know what she’s talking about but it figures that you’d manage a way to screw this up within the first few seconds, of course, and now after all this effort and hope she hates you and- 

She turns back from sending her companion off and, seeing your panicked expression, quickly begins clarifying, no, I didn’t mean you, you’ve done everything perfectly Ellsee, I didn’t mean to worry you! I meant someone else, it’s someone else, pet. You calm down some as she gives you a reassuring smile, before reaching out a hand to caress your cheek. You didn’t even realize how much you missed that kind of gesture, because the moment she does you feel a wave of peace wash over you and, wow, you really, really missed physical contact. Long before you’re ready for it to be over, she moves away, examining you. 

And then she smiles and something is very, very wrong. 

You step back, terrified, as she blinks and her eyes become blindingly bright. You don’t see yourself in her anymore, her irises having been replaced with scarlet crosses. Her movements, so natural before, become jerky and painful, as if she’d decided to fully embrace her phantom status. Her head hangs at an impossible, deadly angle as she glides towards you, still beaming, and says, in a hollow mockery of the lively voice you’d heard moments ago, I thought your guardian taught you to be careful about who you let through that spell barrier of yours.

ELLSEE: What arΣ you talking about¿¿  
ELLSEE: What arΣ you doing¿¿¿¿  
ELLSEE: What’s going on¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿  
ELLSEE: If this is a jokΣ your ghost powΣrs arΣ rΣally imprΣssivΣ and stuff but this rΣally isn’t funny.  
ELLSEE: PlΣasΣ stop.  
ELLSEE: PlΣasΣ. 

Joke? Her laugh is grating now, bones being crushed between metal slabs. No, Ellsee Raines, that’s someone else. This is all incredibly serious, and I really must thank you for your help.

ELLSEE: what¿ 

The tears you’d been trying to hold back cascade down your face now, but you hardly even notice them. The weightless joy you felt so recently has morphed back into the weightless nothingness that had been suffocating you before all of this began. You can’t even feel your body, just a cold, painful powerlessness. All the while, your ancestor has continued staring at you, the same mocking smile still leering down at you. 

You have to be one of the easiest trolls on this planet to take advantage of, she says. You’ve bonded with someone who doesn’t even give you half a moment’s attention, but you’d never complain about that for fear of him dropping you for being too much trouble. Instead, you just continue to give yourself up to him, figuratively and literally, hoping that your blood will be enough to make up for your existence. You constantly live in fear of society and any other members of your own kind, failing time and again to share even the most basic information about yourself with those you ostensibly care about. You isolate yourself, rightfully or not, out of fear of being judged for who you are. Her smile somehow becomes crueler than before. All of which makes getting you to summon a force that you couldn’t hope to comprehend as easy as appearing in the underbrush during your evening stroll.

ELLSEE: Wait.  
ELLSEE: Wait, that was you¿  
ELLSEE: Why would you do that¿  
ELLSEE: Why arΣ you doing this to mΣ¿ 

Because, we need to stack the deck in our favor. Interlopers meddling with affairs that do not concern them should not attempt to stop what is destined to transpire, and I will make sure that destiny holds true, regardless of Metatron’s stupid game. But don’t concern yourself with that, you’ll find- 

ELLSEE: SHUT UP¡¡  
ELLSEE: HOW DARΣ YOU¿¡

The paralyzing despair you felt had turned into a burning hot rage. You will not be some monster’s plaything, and you will most certainly not be made to feel like nothing about it! Not in your damn hive, you think to yourself, jumping for your staff and surprising the creature in front of you. Your grab it with shaking hands, swinging to face the disgusting mockery of your history. As the circle under your feet stops glowing and the will-o-wisps vanish, your block is lit only by the weak flickering of your candles and the burning glow of your magic. The monster smirks, you think that’ll actually do anything?

ELLSEE: You arΣ not going to hurt mΣ or hΣr anymorΣ.  
ELLSEE: I brought you hΣrΣ, I can sΣnd you back. 

If only it were that simple, but doors are not so-

ELLSEE: Shut UP¡¡  
ELLSEE: Stop using hΣr voicΣ.  
ELLSEE: And go.  
ELLSEE: To.  
ELLSEE: HΣLL.

The inside of your tent roars with fire as you let loose all the magic you can muster. The green flames consume everything they touch, save your target, still staring at you in amusement, still not entirely present physically. And then the blaze vanishes, and you are pulled into the air with terrifying force, your staff slamming to the ground in kind. You can barely breath now, and the panic that you’d been pushing aside returns again. 

WΣll, your captor says, I can cΣrtainly do onΣ of thosΣ things. But bΣforΣ I do, I want to tΣll you thΣ good part about all of this, and you feel a sliver of your ancestor come back into the figure’s voice, as desperate as you to escape, just like she has been all night. I fΣlt thΣ samΣ way you did, growing up. AlonΣ. Constantly paranoid. I know how you fΣΣl right now, but-

ELLSEE: Stop.  
ELLSEE: Please.

Your voice cracks, and your ancestor sees that she’s not helping. That she never did. I’m sorry, she says, and then she’s retreated back into the hollowed out shell of her former self, leaving only the maddening entity that stole it from her. LΣt mΣ sharΣ instΣad, thΣn. You won’t ΣvΣr bΣ alonΣ again, ΣllsΣΣ RainΣs. And, rΣally, you’vΣ nΣvΣr bΣΣn alonΣ. WΣ’vΣ always bΣΣn hΣrΣ.

ELLSEE: I’m going to Σnd you onΣ day.  
ELLSEE: For my ancΣstor.  
ELLSEE: For mΣ.  
ELLSEE: I am going to fucking oblitΣratΣ you. 

(And one day, with the power of a god coursing through her veins, she would. But not today.)

You’rΣ wΣlcomΣ to try, ΣllsΣΣ RainΣs¡ The beast laughs. It would bΣ amusing, but an impossibility, I’m afraid. But, look on thΣ bright sidΣ.

You see one last blood curdling smile before you slip from consciousness, the gloating expression of a vindicated god. From somewhere you can’t quite pinpoint, as the last of your awareness washes away, one phrase echoes through your mind, as much of a sensation as a realization.

ELLSEE: You won’t ΣvΣr bΣ alonΣ again.

->


End file.
